The end is nigh

Just a quick post to say that I am ridiculously excited for the season finales of Fringe and Vampire Diaries, and to share a couple other random TV thoughts.

Fringe’s finale is going to be a two-part episode, beginning tomorrow. Finally we get to see more than a glimmer of the alternate universe. If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend checking out the extended trailer. It is completely nerdtastic.

Also airing tomorrow is the season finale of Vampire Diaries, which looks to be pretty juicy from the trailer. After last week’s revelation that Damon is in love with Elena, all bets are off.

I would talk about Lost, but well, my co-blogger Mark perfectly summed up my feelings. What a boring hour of TV that was.

The end of all these shows means one very awesome thing – True Blood is right around the corner. Did everyone see the latest minisode with Jessica? Did I mention that #waitingsucks?

Andrea Up All Night

It’s a quarter to 2 a.m. I’m wide awake, doing laundry and watching The X-Files. I think I’ve told you before that I never watched this as it aired, so I am enjoying it for the first time via Netflix.

This really was a great show. Earlier today I mentioned how much I love the monster of the week episodes of Fringe, and the same is true for The X-Files. Also, I have a pretty serious crush on Mulder, and a girl crush on Scully. What an awesome pair.

Case in point, the episode I’m watching right now from season five, titled “The Post-Modern Prometheus.” It’s shot in black and white, and the “villain” is a two-faced mutant man who enjoys listening to Cher and eating peanut butter sandwiches while impregnating the local ladies. Quirky and clever, it’s a great time.

I love staying up late. It reminds me of being a kid again, watching USA Up All Night with Rhonda Shear. They used to show great horror movie marathons, like all of the Nightmare on Elm Street and Critters movies. Of course, then I didn’t do my own laundry so it was a lot cooler. I could also eat with the indiscretion of a metabolically blessed teenager. I remember watching movies all night, eating a box of Eggos and a Pop Tart for dessert. If I was in the mood for something a little different, I would eat a box of Mrs. T’s Pierogies. Those were the days, my friend.

Is anyone else up? If so what are you watching?

Fringe noir

I loved this week’s episode of Fringe. Granted, I am always a bit anxious for the next mythology episode, but I also really love the “monster of the week” episodes, and this one was no exception.

In case you missed it, the show was basically a film noir mystery made up by Walter to explain the sudden disappearance of Peter. His tremendous guilt really came through in the narrative, but it was also fun and lighthearted throughout. Olivia looked amazing in her ‘40s detective era clothing and makeup, and so did Peter.

I also loved Nina, Broyles and Astrid, who are normally very serious but showed a lighter side in this episode.

The brief musical interludes were also very well done, and quite revealing of the characters’ true feelings – take Olivia’s song “For Once in My Life” to Peter and Walter’s bittersweet rendition of the “The Candy Man Can” from Willy Wonka. The singing corpses were hilarious.

I also loved the ending, with Walter’s bleak and depressing finale upstaged by Olivia’s niece, and her perfectly innocent desire for a happy ending.

I’m hopeful that Olivia will find Peter next week. What about you? Did you like the look and feel of the episode?

COPS: transvestites, mullets and mustaches

I will preface this by saying that unlike my co-blogger, Mark, I have no problem with a little trash TV. In fact, some may say I relish it.

Case in point, I watched a glorious episode of COPS last night. It was an oldie, but a goodie – you know, the kind of episode where all the officers have regulation mustaches and standard issue eyeglasses. They pull up to a domestic disturbance call, and knock on the door of a grimy hotel. Out walks a lovely transvestite with a golden mane of locks.

It turns out this is not actually the perp (pretty good cop lingo, yes?). Rather it’s the perp’s roommate. So the cops leave the hotel in search of a white male, 6’1,” in a black dress, who is accused of ripping off a guy with a large black mullet shaved nice and close on the sides. Of course, this bodacious mullet man had no idea he was in the company of a cross-dresser.

The cops get lucky at the local liquor establishment (quite a classy looking place, I might add), where the aforementioned male in black dress is having a night cap. Believe me when I say that this guy makes Tim Curry look like Megan Fox. A short, but to-the-point round of questions reveals that he/she has also been arrested for public intoxication, disorderly conduct, prostitution, jaywalking and theft (what I like to think of as the Greatest Hits of White Trash).

The officer doing the pat down comments, “This is the worst part of the job,” and the episode ends with this comment: “Take her down to the station and fingerprint him.”

What Would Walter Do? Just about anything for Peter….

Fringe was so great last night that it’s hard to know where to begin. Actually, on second thought, I’ll begin at the beginning – with the amazing throwback credits. The opening was so geektastic that I replayed it not once, but twice. And even mentioning it now makes me want to watch it one more time for fun.

Of course, the throwback credits were perfect for this episode, which largely took place in flashbacks to 1985, when Walter took Peter from the alternate universe. Heavy on mythology, this installment answered one of the biggest questions – why did The Pattern start happening? We now know that it started with Walter opening the first portal and thereby tipping the natural balance between the two worlds.

I am so impressed with John Noble, who plays Walter Bishop. His character is at once endearing and off-putting. He is ever the loving and devoted father, but also the mad scientist, obsessed with his work and blind to the repercussions of opening the portal. His lack of remorse for kidnapping the alternate Peter is chilling, but I found myself sympathizing with him in the end as he said, “You can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a child.”

I can’t wait until next week. I really have no idea how Olivia is going to handle this new knowledge, and the anticipation is going to be pretty hard to contain for a full seven days.

Thursday: Big night in

Thursdays are a big night for TV at the Rogers Residence. Not only do we have The Office and 30 Rock on NBC, but also Fringe on FOX and Vampire Diaries on The CW.

NBC is fresh out of new episodes, but that’s OK because I am really excited for the return of Fringe. I love this show, and I have to thank my co-blogger, Mark, for getting me interested in it. If you have never tuned in, I highly recommend you check it out tonight at 9 p.m. It’s like The X-Files on steroids.

Vampire Diaries is also new tonight, and I can’t wait to find out more about Elena’s birth mother and father (I hope). After last week’s episode, I am wondering if Elena will ever forgive Damon for turning her mother.

What do you watch on Thursdays?

Bad boys, bad boys

Whenever I don’t know what to watch, or if I am feeling a bit down, I like to tune into COPS. COPS reruns are on TruTV every night at 7 and 7:30 pm, and if all else fails and disappoints, I know I can count on this solid hour of TV to remind me that my life is indeed worth living.

One of my all-time favorite aspects of COPS is the lingo the officers use. They never say “joint,” when they can say “marijuana cigarette” or “biker” when they can say “adult male riding a Harley Davidson motorcycle.” In a recent episode, an officer said “We’re going to transport you to the justice center” instead of “We’re going to drive you to jail.”

If you’re like me, COPS is an exercise in self-esteem – sometimes I can really make an ass of myself, but I have never been arrested for throwing record albums in the air that land on and dent my neighbor’s car whilst wearing cut-off sweat pants and a Tweety Bird T-shirt.

Then there are the suspects, the glorious, wonderful people who encounter these officers of the law. A typical exchange: an officer pulls up to a stopped vehicle (also known as a car), only to discover that the dude inside, an obese, bald man with missing teeth and a sporadic mustache, has two outstanding warrants. So the officer asks him to get out of the vehicle, proceeds to search it and finds crystal meth inside. When asked about the drugs, the suspect gives this perfectly logical gem of an explanation, “That’s not dope. It’s something for your joints – your actual joints.” Right.

But, as any discerning COPS fan will tell you, it is the off-the-wall encounters that make the show great. Fortunately, the United States has no shortage of shameless weirdos and nut jobs, and just about every episode delivers a fascinating and awe-inspiring encounter. For example, take the Las Vegas officer who pulls over a speeding car. Inside are two good-looking, thin girls wearing bikinis. The officer, looking somewhat befuddled, asks the driver (who I shall refer to as Bikini Girl 1) for proof of insurance, which she does not have. He asks her to step out of the vehicle, and the dialogue that ensues is absolutely classic:

“I don’t see any reason to pat you down or anything,” the officer says as he writes the ticket and calls for the car to be towed. Bikini Girl 1 starts bawling.

“I’m having my boobs done in four days, and this is just really inconvenient,” she sobs. Bikini Girl 2 steps out of the vehicle and both sit on the curb. The officer asks if he can search the vehicle.

“Some handcuffs on the rearview mirror there, very interesting,” the officer comments. He writes the ticket, and the two bikini girls walk away down the Strip holding hands.

I could talk about this show all day. It is literally the most consistently entertaining show on TV, and that’s pretty impressive considering thousands of episodes have aired in the 20 years it has been on. Do you have a favorite COPS moment? If so, please share it here.